Drama 8

What ever it takes, remember God is watching you. Cleanse your heart from hatred, sadness, angry or any bad feeling. I know its difficult but please try. Yess please try. It's not easy but still you need to try. God please help me.

Its almost 3 months in o+g yet i feel like more than 3 years. Persistently struggled in this deparment yet still not doing so good. So i let it just be what it will be. I'm trying so hard really. Being so demotivated in this department.

Drama 7

Assalamualaikum..

This is suka2 entry. Random thought. About current situation. About people. About babies.

Now i was assigned in ward mawar, general gynae team. My boss dr aida, nashreen and nik unaizah. Dr nik unaizah is a very gentle and caring one. Humble. And today dr aida told us that she will come after praying solat duha. Respect her. No wonder hati sejuk when seeing her face.

Very contradict with z. Yeah i respect him as a boss. But once you downgrade people, i lost my respect. For me once you downgrade people means you think you are better than them. And your opinion sometimes is not really right i think.

But actually i want to tell how happy am i to be in mawar with my crush, z**i*. Hahahaha. No laa just kidding. Terpinga2 lagi nk clerk new case. Huhuhu

Hope will enjoy being here. May Allah bless

Drama 6

Assalamualaikum..

Reminder of today conversation.
Patient has active complaint. While reviewing her and doing time contraction, she told (whispering actually) me.
Pt: dr, kat ward ni ramai betul yang tak solat.
Me: ye ke? X perasan laa pulak. Kak ajak laa mereka solat.
Pt: saya dah ajak tp diorang tak nak.
Me:... spechless... kak ajak je. Diorang nak ke tak tu lain kira. *dlm hati rasa bersalah. Jarang betul aku tanya patient solat ke tak
Pt: waktu saya masuk wad 2*, misi2 dia tolong kejut patient ajak gi solat. Kt sini misi tak ajak ye
Me: ...spechless again.... sini wad besar x sempat kot diorang nak tanya
*she asked me whether i'm married or not. I told her that i'm not. She told me she is isma person. Many guys in there. I just keep silent. Shy shy cat weyh.  Then when she saw no respond feom me, she did pray so that i will marry to pious man. So i only said ameen without looking up. Shy shy cat. HAHAHAHA. Padahal masa tau oc belakang with z***n tu menjerit suka. Bila dia tolong kau suture dlm hati berbunga2. Mengada betul hati ni.

Conclusion: we are trying to treat external disease of patient but seldom healed their internal problem and faith. Even asking them about their prayer also seem small matter but it is not because prayer is pillar of our religion

Drama 5

Hai assalamualaikum. Hari ni saya tulis dgn air mata ye. 

Semua orang takut dgn dr f n kak i. Aku pun. Pagi tu kami wad 25 kena round dgn 2 org ni. Omg sgt berdebar. Fortunately the round was smooth. We only has 1 pt suitable for discharge. So my friend key in her data and i do her pnr. And here started the end of my happiness in ong. The suture was very bad. Sorry to say lah. And i saw 1 suture tercabut but no active bleeding. So i call kak i and told her about it. Then she said u suture laa. I dont know how and where to start it. And sister ward maybe she pitied me call mo that doing that suture. When kak i know about it memang mengamuklah dia. She said "its like you are so ***** even mo from other ward need to come to cover your work. Are you mad if someone do it for you? You are a doctor so you should be confidence. No benefits if you have mbba but acted like sn." Ohh i forgot to quote her words on phone "if dr s******* told me there is no problem i will make sure you will be extended"

That was hell afterwards. I lost all my confidences. Seriously and no joking. Im crying right now. Yeah but after all i remember God is stronger than her word. So then i could stop crying. 

Literally after that many words hurt my feeling but i let it go. Like can you stop smiling its disgusting to see you smile. Okay then i will not smile and even look at you after this. 

One night, have to do on night with dr F and boss M. I like doing round with dr F. Yeah she scary but she marah at right place and encourage you after that. Really i like her actually. She then said that  i stayed at her ward in very short time and she still not teach me well. I was like, 3 weeks is enough dr. I had have enough. Mentally tortured and demotivated to go to work. Really its not a joke.

I hope to see myself improve after this. Really. Kak i taught me a lot but in a harsh way. Thanks to her and dr F, now i not really into ong. HAHAHA. Its not i hate ong but i hate its environment.